Coffee Owl Shirt
You may be thinking “How is a Coffee Owl
Shirt at all relevant to improving my mornings?” HERE IS HOW:
They say breakfast is the most important meal, but for some, skipping the eggs won’t damper the rest of day like omitting your morning coffee. Caffeinated beverages have been around for centuries, but it seems to have recently taken new form as a super-beast that has the power to determine the mood for an individual’s entire day. Whether it be simply the morning ritual, the comfort of a warm beverage, or the actual caffeine itself, there are those people who you do not recognize before their first (or second) cup o’ joe.
Watching an avid coffee drinker is like watching a lion hunt for its prey. Except maybe a little bit more dramatic. Standing in line at the coffee shop, the look on their face is void of any emotion, other than longing for bed. Much like the half-humans in zombie movies who have found their next victim, they approach the order station and have a momentary lapse in autopilot, where they perk up in order to relay the exact specifications that make up their individual life potion to a powerful barista with The Magic Marker.
Once the order has been placed, a whole new emotion of hostility floods over them as they shuffle to the next waiting station. The baristas who were once worshiped and coveted are not going fast enough, there are too many patrons ahead, also waiting. They requested obscene additions, “half-calf”, “soy”, “extra shot”, “extra pump of flavor”, too much to keep up with, and they did it purposely to delay your order. Pushing, shoving, aggressive glances, its chaos – too much before your morning coffee.
Then the only drink that matters is called. A spritely angel in an apron sings a list of the trimmings within the individual cup like an identification number, and the addict rushes over to scoop it up and sleeve it before anyone else impatiently tries to mistake it as their own. Softly blowing into the steaming hole in the lid, the face changes, relaxes, before even taking a step to their table.
First sips awaken the body as peace transmits itself down the throat, and into the soul, defrosting the person, as well as their surroundings. Suddenly, the man in line in front of them was just a man waiting for something to go with his bagel, not a robot sent from hell solely to delay and ruin the morning ritual. The face muscles relax exponentially with each sip and about halfway down, a smile forms. All is well; it will be a great day.
This Coffee Owl Shirt would be a great way to simplify the morning headache of wake up assistance. If the real coffee addicts would get one and somehow identify their individual preference of the day via velcro star, or something, the coffee house employees as well as surrounding humans would be far more equipped to sensitively handle your morning needs and moods. The varying options from decaf to double espresso cover all spectrums of coffee consumption and are universal terms used and understood in most cultures. Corresponding animated owl faces offer up a way to express how you are feeling without having to speak before coffee and risk scaring people away by attitude without warning. If everyone wore these uniforms, the world before 10am would be a much more peaceful place.
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